Add the remaining ingredients to a blender (or food processor) and blend until smooth. Pour the 'cheese' sauce over the kale and mix with your hands until the leaves are covered.
If you have a dehydrator, arrange the kale chips in your dehydrator and dehydrate at 120ºF for 12 - 14 hours, until crispy.
If not, heat your oven to 225ºF. Spread the kale on two baking sheets trying to not overlap as much as possible. Bake for 90 minutes, flipping halfway through (and swapping your pans on the racks).